Three

couldn’t quite get the hang of the surfboard, so he finally gave up and flopped down on a beach towel. Basking in the sun, Pete took it all in; the sun, the sand, the ocean, the hot girls in skimpy bikinis. This is what it was all about! His house may have burned down, his car may have been stripped by gang members, and his sister may have run off with a biker, but Pete was satisfied.

“Well Pete, my man,” said Boosker as he dropped down beside his bud, “what the fuck are we gonna do now? We got no place to go, and no money to go there.” Pete thought Boosker looked like a douche in his new dreds, but who was he to say? The man got laid more than he did, so he must be doing something right.

“In my opinion,” answered Pete after seconds of careful deliberation, “we should hang here and see what kind of action we can drum up. I mean, shit! There’s girls, beer, and rich guys all over the place just begging to sign on for our next fantastic deal!”

Boosker shook his head. “I don’t know, man. That cop told us that if he ever caught us…”

“That’s the point, dude,” interrupted Pete. “We won’t get caught. Now I was thinkin’…we set ourselves up with a suit or two from Salvation Army, maybe a briefcase, and we got ourselves the start of a beautiful scam. Whadda you say?”

“I say you musta had a pretty fucked up childhood, my friend. But what the hell, I got no place else to go!” And with that he got up, brushed the white sand off his ass, and headed to the parking lot where his van sat baking in the sizzling Hawaiian sun. Pete followed closely on his heels.

Boosker stopped, pointed a finger at Pete’s chest and warned, “Just one thing…next time, I get the girl.”

Pete thought for a moment, then nodded his head. “You got it.”

The only reason he said it was because he knew it wasn’t happening. He followed Boosker to the van, leapt in and screamed like a little girl as he burned his flesh on the black vinyl seat. It was going to be a great day!